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Anecdotes about Tina Fey’s oldest daughter, Alice, as taken from interviews Tina has done.

  • “Now we have to play c-section, and she’s like, ‘you lay down, I’m gonna cut you open.’”
  • “It was a joke where Jane Krakowski is holding a monkey in a sailor suit, and she goes, ‘Oh this little outfit hides his erection!’ And my 6-year-old immediately turns to me, she’s like, ‘What’s an erection?’ And I was like, I wanted to be so mad at the show but it was my show! And I was like, ‘It’s a building! An erection is a building.’” (Jimmy Fallon: “Very smart, very smart!”) “Nope, ‘cause immediately she goes, ‘That doesn’t make sense in the sentence that the lady said though ‘cause she said it was hiding- that the clothes were hiding it, and it couldn’t hide a building.’ and I was like, ‘Oh boy…’ I was just like, ‘I don’t know.’”
  • Her daughter will put on pretend makeup in the mirror and declare, “I look like Barack Obama.”
  • “She likes to do her own makeup which is actually… She ends up looking like she’s in the Manson family, like, she draws like really symmetrically all over her face.”
  • “She also figured out that it’s funny to moon people.”
  • “I called a friend, Jennifer Greenberg, who does the set dressing for 30 Rock and she came over and… Fixing up the apartment mostly involved taking my stuff out and they- they put it in a truck and, I don’t know, hid it in the woods or something until… And she put a nice little rug down and there was, you know, like a bowl of fancy pears and they made it really nice. And um, Oprah came through the door and my daughter immediately was like, ‘Come here,’ to Oprah, and led her to this bowl of beautiful fruits and said, ‘These crazy bananas are for you.’ Like, the jig was up immediately.”
  • “I was reading her a story the other night and she was sitting on my lap and she took my face in her hands and said, [whispering] ‘When are you gonna die?’ It was chilling.”
  • “I try to limit her from the TV ‘cause- I was brushing my teeth one night and she came in and she goes, ‘Mommy, there’s a better way!’ And she’d seen that stupid commercial where you mount your toothpaste on the wall and you push on it- ‘There’s a- there’s a better way!’ She’ll completely market it to you. … ‘Mommy, have you tried Oxy-Clean? It makes the stain come right out!’ Alright, let’s try it.” 
May 14th 2012 · 312 notes · Tags: #tina fey #alice fey #kids say the darndest things
  1. eatenbyplague reblogged this from racistpeanutbuttercup
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    well now lotbn i see we have come to a disagreement
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    Although I do feel weird reblogging “racist peanut butter cup”
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